SAY NO To MARRIAGE!!!!

I met a lady in her late sixties some time ago( I mean here in the US of A) and she was waiting post surgery for her mate to show up...
She seemed to be eagerly looking forward to her beloved...and I was impressed. When I asked her how long they had been together..she replied it was well over 30 years..I was all the more impressed. She volunteered that this relationship survived after the demise of her first marriage.
Anyway...we chatted and I said..it must be nice to have someone to take care of you while recuperating..
She looked at me with amusement..and said" Sure it is, but its only for a few days and then he will go back to his house".
I was nonplussed.!! And she laughed at my expresson and said
"Why do you think we lasted so long honey? We live separately and believe me that has kept the love and respect alive. I wouldnt have it any other way".
So saying she looked at the swinging doors and smiled at her Beau..a sweet looking old man..who gave her a kiss and they both left..and lived happily ever after!

Marriage is  not relevant any more. And rightly so.  Stop  making it a social event..
This is the 21st century ya'll. And yes pressure of parents in India..persists..but make your own choices and mistakes..and then don't blame ANYONE but YOURSELF!!

Marriage..Its Archaic. and stifling.

Then I hear a lot of my young friends are desperately seeking their Susans or Sams...
Why? Look guys all the warm fuzzies go away real soon..and you know why???
Because living with someone takes courage! You can't lie anymore....you can't  think  anymore, you can't want anymore!  You are accountable for each minute of your life..
He wants to own you.."my wife" ? Is that supposed to make you feel "loved"? It's cute for a while...
She wants romance, sweet nothings and yes...flowers...And  ITs over girls..He's GOT YOU...Okay? No need for all the fancy stuff.. And oh Yes She expects "security". I don't know why in this day and age..Its beyond me..really.

SPACE!...the final frontier...give Space if you are in a serious relationship!..
And Marriage is..not SPACE..its A deal breaker!. Heaven for the Male chauvinist, Heaven for the Shrew.. and the other half...(.well.....In laws, relatives, children, the help, therapists(read friends) Ultimately...the INTERNET.

BUT..Not to be the voice of doom..One CAN have a loving, long lasting relationship...

Without the death knoll of relationships..Marriage!

Lord alone knows why and how the dynamics change after the KNOT is tied...I mean its not worth it if you are snfffing your partner when he/she comes home..for fear of their dangerous liasions..Or watching the blinking of eyelids(lying?), intruding on every thought...with "what are you thinking"? 

 Trust? Its earned, just like Respect..
Love is not all that great without those essential ingredients.

VERY HARD to trust..so if you give it ....you must get it? Okay..and Marriage??
That is no guarantee of anything..and listen in America..what a huge show is made of marriage..just like India(though we win hands down, how many days/money do we spend in celebrations?? )
and then...KAPUT!!
Where as we..Indians.suffer..because..yes you guessed it right again..ITS A SOCIAL EVENT..MAAN MARYADA IZZAT.....so...YES for the time being, you can all blame your parents!  And LOVE marriages..well if you don't work at LOVE, it goes out of the door..!!

And with no apologies to the miniscule percentage of couples who have found heaven on EVIL earth!!!.. Exaclty..they are SOULMATES...

YOU guys make the world go around but give us mortals SLEEPLESS nights..looking for our (not) soulmates!!!!!

UNTIL NEXT TIME!!

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sandy - Out of the box article Publisher | 2009-11-08 08:48:24 I liked the topic selection more than the idea of following this in real as I want to have the illusive laddu and then say this to others :-) Reply | Quote 0   0

tintin - Good Topic Publisher | 2009-11-08 20:20:42 Well... this has been a hot topic nowadays and a common ground to open a conversation in any place. Damn still people are after getting married.. women (of any color) are "ring" hunters and men(of any color) after screwing up their life (till 40)look for a virgin "desi" product! Mind it! this is a bitter truth I have found staying in Americas for more than 15 years of my life. I support the platform of being a soul-mate and staying separately....I see a lot of positive things can happen in both in our life. I believe in 'Live-out" relationship as the ingredients of this type relationship are love, trust, understanding and above all respect. If the society starts giving this type of relationship more space, I believe the cost of getting married and getting a divorce will definitely change people's life and the whole country will be cutting cost too! Damn Family and divorce lawyers will be bankrupted! I need a lot of space in a relationship and many in marriage don;t understand this term of "space". If people in marriage starts giving space then the marriage can survive too. But then can a I have question...what happens to the Indian society if the couple have a baby? Don't you want to marry then? Reply | Quote 0   0

thabadcat - Live out... IP:99.64.7.198 | 2009-11-16 04:09:29 Thanks for your comment Tintin..I like the way you coined the word "live out" I couldnt have said that better... Reply | Quote 0   0

Delirium IP:221.132.117.17 | 2010-05-01 06:09:30 Well well well :woohoo: ! Didn't know we have got an expert and quite an accomplished one on the subject B). Now where do we (married ones) go for face saving and well the (claimed or famed ) 'happy ones' sure do look like 'proclaimed offenders' :unsure: ? A complete ruthless synopsis! Isn't it ? Too bad....bad cat :dry: Reply | Quote 0   0

thabadcat IP:99.69.37.91 | 2010-05-02 04:31:55 No Expert sir...Just a cynical "been there done that" point of view...The happy ones (you happily married ones)do just that..view this NO to marriage with amusement and thank your lucky stars that you do belong to a "strictly members of happy marriages only" club Ruthless??? No......Aww..Bad..Yes!!! :woohoo: Reply | Quote 0   0

Delirium IP:221.132.117.17 | 2010-05-01 06:11:07 Well well well :woohoo: ! Didn't know we have got an expert and quite an accomplished one on the subject B). Now where do we (married ones) go for face saving and well the (claimed or famed ) 'happy ones' sure do look like 'proclaimed offenders' :unsure: ? A complete ruthless synopsis! Isn't it ? Too bad....bad cat :dry: Reply | Quote 0   0

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